Today I am new

I am who God created

Today I am more

More than anticipated

Today is here

Time to begin

I am here now

And I am not then

Yesterday is gone

Today is opportunity

Victories wait to be won

Today it is up to me

I will not be able to control

All that is going on

The power that I hold

Is my reaction to the dawn

I am not defective

And being remade

I am New

And I am not the same

There are things we sorry for:  harsh words spoken, unfaithfulness, time wasted, love not given and the rest of that unending list.  There are things we have done that we wish we didn’t.  There are things that we left undone that haunt us.  We wear these things around our necks.  They are heavy and overbearing.  They make us stumble instead of walk.  We trudge through life with our hearts heavy and spirits broken.  The only signs of passion we see are the occasional flash of anger or vengeance.   All of this brews some kind of awful stew that eats away at who we are.

Now all of this sounds pretty horrible.  But if we look closely we will find it’s true for us, at least some of the time.  It’s a world of despair with no possible solution.  It’s a hole too deep to crawl out of.  The walls are too high to scale.  It is at its core~hopeless.

I suppose now some kind of grand fix or solution is expected, some new insight into God’s grace.  A prodigal son reference or sins tossed into a sea of forgetfulness to lighten the mood.   That’s all fine and dandy, but it’s cheap.  There is something much deeper here.  Something we always miss.

I don’t seem to have much trouble with the idea that God forgives.  I know that if a person truly repents, God forgives.   The slate’s clean and you move forward.  I know that’s who God is.  I by no means am I belittling His grace or the price He paid to make it possible.  There is a real peace and solace to be had by know out Creator is not going to hold that against us.  He is not going to carry a grudge.

How often though, do we continue to carry that grudge against ourselves?  We won’t forgive ourselves.  We beat ourselves up with our own measuring stick.  Our standards are impossible.  They are so impossible that we have given up on trying reaching them.  So they manifest themselves in self-loathing and laziness.  Regret binds our souls and we are both prisoner and warden.  How do we get past it?

The chief deception we can fall under is that we are the God of our own world.  We can do or be anything.  We have to learn to accept ourselves as God accepts us, imperfect.  We have to see ourselves through God’s eyes.   Look at the imperfections and say, “Its ok…  I’m only human”.  That’s our hard place to land but its true. We have to let go and let God.  He is leading us to perfection by His measuring stick not ours.

I pride myself on knowing most colloquialisms, knowing the word colloquialism (thanks dad), and making up a few of my own now and then.  I was suprised that this one was good and I had never heard it before.

Now I admit that I don’t know it all.  My wife will tell you different.  But for me,  life is mostly consistent and even predictable. Life is comfortable even though I  complain about it. Not much unfamiliar invades my space.  How boring, how sad.

I often think on those whom Jesus called.  It seems to me that he never calls to comfort.  When we follow it never turns out quite the way we planned.  Its often uncomfortable, surprising, and scary.  But how exciting, how joyful!

When I let go of my fears, my comfort, my plans, and my preconceived notions I begin to lose religion and find Him.  He stands on the water beckoning me to walk on it too.  He pleads to me to make today “good”.  Not just because I’m on this side of the grass but because I follow.

I want to make the norm not so normal.  I pray it he leads all of us out of comfort for our own good.

Breathing
Breathing again
Like the first time
When Life began

Filled with fresh air
Familiar but new
Starting over
Falling in love with you

I feel like a kid
Almost giddy inside
Let’s go play
Let’s seek and hide

Another adventure
Pirate Princess and King
Can’t wait to see
What it will bring

Breathing
Breathing again
And its time
Let Life begin